Blah

Today is one of those days where I feel blah.

There’s nothing wrong with me, but for some reason, I feel restless.

I have this urge to do something, but I don’t know what that is.

My mind is trying to tell me that today is important, Char, and you must not fail.

But why is today so important? It feels like another day to me, but my mind suggests otherwise.

My mind is screaming that today is filled with new beginnings, but I don’t feel that way.

My mind is telling me today is the day I break free, but what am I breaking free from?

My mind tells me to accept this feeling no matter how I feel.

My mind is yelling that it’s not another day; this day is different. Things are about to change.

But what change is it speaking of?

I try my best to tune out this feeling of nothingness and move forward, encouraging others as they face the intricate details of life while my mind is still yapping away in the background.

I know I can’t ignore what my mind is telling me, and I must stop running and listen.

I go into my secret place, where it’s just me and Jesus, to learn about what’s happening.

I don’t expect an answer right away, but I hope to receive one.

I already know what’s bugging me deep down, and that is

things aren’t moving fast enough, so I want to take matters into my own hands.

I was letting doubt establish a bed in my thoughts that would contradict everything I believed about God’s promises.

My mind warned me not to give in to my misgivings but instead hold tightly to my faith, so that’s what I am going to do.