As my mind rushed back twenty years, a memory of nostalgia came over me like a wrecking ball. On this day in 2005, my wedding day, which started so beautifully and ended with a tropical storm, was on this day.

 Today would’ve been my twentieth wedding anniversary, but I stopped counting, as the thirteenth wedding anniversary was the last one I would celebrate before death tore us apart.

 I thought I would be fine today, but the pressure has been building up leading up to this day. I thought I was strong enough to let this day pass without dwelling on the past, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. The memories are flooding in, as are the tears, and I wish to bury these memories once again.

 I know suppressing these emotions isn’t wise, but dwelling on the what-ifs isn’t productive either. What’s a girl to do when there seems to be no way out, so I must go through.

 I will remember this day with all the strength I can muster. I will cry if I have to. I will look back at the pictures from that day and remember him with everything in me before I closed the lid once again on my past.

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“Two Became One” 

The excitement was bubbling as two were preparing to become one,

The butterflies were fluttering in my stomach,

The smile wouldn’t leave my face,

I knew today would be hectic, but I didn’t care; two was becoming one.

The love of family and friends would surround us as they were to witness our love blossom into its next chapter,

The sound of spring, with the birds chirping and the bees buzzing, highlighted the beauty of the day,

The flowers were colorful and had a brilliant smell like no other, leaving me in awe of how beautiful this day was becoming.

The outdoor wedding I have been dreaming of was about to occur, but did I forget “April Showers bring May Flowers”?

The showers came not in a timid way but in a way that led to an alert of a tropical storm with a possibility of tornadoes,

I thought, what a day, as plans had to change quickly.

From outdoors to indoors promptly as the rain wasn’t going to disappear as a fear of doom loomed over me,

I had to push the feeling aside and hope for the best because that day two was becoming one.

The storm couldn’t stop us nor the change of plans we were destined for this moment, and we wouldn’t allow anything to stop us,

The wedding would go on, for nothing was allowed to stop us from becoming one.

The chaos took place, but so did the “I Do,” as I remember how it felt to be standing so close to him.

Our future was so bright and filled with hopes and dreams, but as I remember the vows we shared, who knew that “death would do us apart” so soon?

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I wouldn’t change anything about that day, for it taught me how to survive life’s surprises. Who knew I would need that same strength thirteen years later as that would be our last year celebrating us?

I will sit in this place of nostalgia for a while today before I close this chapter of my past. I thank you for choosing me to be your wife. I will forever cherish the memories we shared and the beautiful daughters we created together.

Thirteen years wasn’t enough in my book, but I am grateful for them, for something beautiful was made on that day. It will always be a day I remember that “Two became One.” May you forever rest in peace, my first love.

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