Why I Chose to Walk by Faith and Stop Running

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I stand today because of my faith in God.

Not because life has been easy —

Not because I always chose right —

Not because I never ran —

I stand because in my darkest moments — when I was stubborn, distant, and doing things my own way — He was still my light.

Even when I ran from Him — He never ran from me.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:4–5

That verse isn’t poetic to me — it’s personal.

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There was a time when I wanted things my way — not His.

I thought I knew better.

I thought I needed control.

I thought surrender meant losing.

But He was patient with me.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” — Psalm 103:8

He wasn’t surprised by my rebellion — He already knew.

He wasn’t pacing heaven in frustration — He was waiting.

Waiting for my heart to turn.

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You see — I read my Word even when I was sinning.

No matter how far I drifted into darkness — I couldn’t stay away from it.

It kept pulling me back.

Convicting me.

Correcting me.

Calling me home.

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God already knew the mistakes I would make — and somehow He didn’t give up on me.

That’s what grace does.

It stays.

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I have experienced things that should have broken me — but instead they built me.

Built my endurance.

Built my discernment.

Built my dependence on Him.

This walk isn’t easy — but it’s worth it.

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He chose me from the beginning — before the mistakes, before the running, before the resistance.

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit.” — John 15:16

That changes everything.

Because this isn’t about me.

It’s about obedience.

It’s about stepping out of the background — and letting my light shine in a world that feels darker by the day.

I am called to bring hope to the hopeless.

To shine the light of God into places that feel abandoned.

To go forth and make disciples in the name of Jesus.

And this time —

I’m not running.

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This isn’t about perfection —

It’s about obedience.

If He said move — move.

Stand firm.

Stay submitted.

Do not turn back.

We walk by faith.

— Char