Sometimes God allows us to revisit a place not to stay, but to recognize how much we have grown.

Life has a way of putting things into perspective, especially when you receive news of a loss involving someone whose life you once had the opportunity to touch.

Today was one of those days for me.

I heard about the passing of a young woman who was only 25 years old. I first crossed paths with her when she was an infant. It was during my second year working in the field of early childhood education.

As I sat with the news, I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it. Although this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced the loss of a child who was once in my care, this one hit differently.

It reminded me that I have now spent 26 years in early childhood education. Twenty-six years of pouring into little lives, watching children grow, and being part of their stories, sometimes without realizing just how much those moments would stay with me.

But today’s news also brought something else to the surface.

It reminded me that I had returned to a place God had once moved me from. I stepped back into something familiar, not necessarily because it was where He wanted me, but because I had stepped outside my comfort zone and struggled to fully trust Him.

Sometimes we return to familiar places because they feel safe. Sometimes we go backward because moving forward requires a level of faith we haven’t quite learned to walk in yet.

And sometimes God allows us to revisit a place, not to keep us there, but to show us that we have grown.

I believe that is part of what God allowed me to see today.

My spirit has felt heavy lately. With everything happening in the world, the darkness, the loss, the uncertainty, and the things we see every day, I’ve found myself asking, “Lord, where is the light?”

And the answer that settled in my spirit was simple:

I’m calling you to be that light. Go forth.

But, Lord, how am I supposed to go forth when I don’t see the provision? How do I move when I don’t have all the answers? How do I take the next step when I cannot see what is waiting on the other side?

And then comes the million-dollar question:

Charlene, do you trust Me?

I can say that I’ve surrendered everything to God. I can say that I trust Him. But when I ask God to show me me, He has a way of revealing the areas where my actions don’t always line up with my words.

One of the things He has been revealing to me is my struggle with control.

If things don’t go the way I think they should, I become frustrated. If I cannot control the outcome, I sometimes find myself ready to walk away. If I cannot control a situation or influence how something unfolds, I struggle with remaining in it.

That’s a real revelation.

I want to trust God, but sometimes I still want to control the very things I’ve asked Him to handle.

I want Him to lead, but I also want to know where we’re going, how we’re getting there, and what the outcome will look like.

And isn’t that something?

We say we have surrendered, but sometimes our actions reveal that we’re still holding on.

Today reminded me of something I needed to hear: We cannot control the outcome of life.

We can only do the best we can with what God has placed in front of us. We can control our responses. We can choose to show up, remain consistent, extend grace, and continue seeking God for direction.

But we cannot control people. We cannot control every circumstance. And we certainly cannot play God.

That last part is something I’m learning to recognize in myself.

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we try to manage people, situations, and outcomes as though everything depends on us. We carry responsibilities that were never ours to carry and become frustrated when things don’t unfold according to our expectations.

But I’m not God.

I’m Charlene.

I’m a flawed individual, just like anyone else, saved by grace and made clean through the blood of Jesus Christ. I’m still growing. I’m still learning. And I’m still allowing God to work on the areas of my life that need His attention.

And here’s what I want to encourage somebody with today:

Even though my heart is heavy, even though I feel like crying, even though part of me wants to crawl into bed, shut the world out, and not deal with anything for a while, I know I cannot allow what I feel in this moment to keep me from what God is calling me to do.

If you seek God, He will give you perspective. If you ask Him to show you your heart, He will reveal things you may not have wanted to see.

And when He does, don’t be surprised like I was.

Well, maybe I shouldn’t say surprised, because deep down, I knew.

I just hadn’t fully acknowledged it.

The revelation behind my need for control, the things I was trying to control, and even the people I was trying to control brought me face-to-face with something I needed to surrender.

I was trying to play God in areas where I needed to trust God.

And today, I was reminded that I don’t have to have everything figured out to move forward. I don’t have to see the provision before I take the next step. I don’t have to understand every transition to trust the One who is leading me.

Sometimes God will allow you to revisit a place so you can recognize that you are no longer the person you were when you first occupied that space.

You’ve grown.

Your perspective has changed.

Your faith has matured.

And what once felt comfortable may no longer be where God wants you to remain.

Perhaps the season served its purpose. Perhaps there were lessons you needed to learn. Perhaps you needed to see for yourself that you have outgrown a place you once thought you needed.

Whatever the reason, don’t become so attached to what is familiar that you miss what God is calling you into.

It’s time to move forward. It’s time to shine. It’s time to be the light God created you to be.

I’m not writing this because I have everything figured out. I’m writing because sometimes you have to release what’s bubbling inside of you. Sometimes the weight of a moment becomes a reminder that there is something God wants you to see, something He wants you to surrender, and something He wants you to share.

Today, I needed to let this out.

And my prayer is that somewhere in these words, somebody finds the encouragement they need to take the next step.

You may not understand the season you’re in. You may not have the provision you think you need. You may be grieving, questioning, or struggling to let go of something familiar.

But don’t give up.

Keep seeking God. Keep allowing Him to reveal your heart. Keep surrendering the things you’ve been trying to control.

And most importantly, keep trusting Him.

Life has a way of putting things in perspective. Sometimes what feels like a difficult reminder is also an invitation to recognize how far God has brought you.

It’s not over. There’s still purpose ahead. There’s still light to shine.

And I’m learning, one day at a time, to trust God enough to walk in it.

With love and faith,

Walking by Faith with Char